My Life Insurance Is Killing Me

Last year, soon after we moved into our new home, our insurance agent talked Hubby and me into signing up for life insurance. We each got a big fat policy, and we also got a small policy for Pumpkin so she could take advantage of the guaranteed insurability when she gets older. But that payment is killing us each month.

We were going to cancel it soon after we got it due to the financial strain, but we ended up keeping it (long story). Then this month I just completely forgot about putting the money in the bank to cover the payment, and when the automatic draft went through, it caused an overdraft. And that, in turn, triggered an overdraft fee.

Hubby wants to cancel it all, but if we were to decide to get life insurance again in the future, it would probably cost more due to health problems that were diagnosed after we got the policies. But maybe we should just go ahead and cancel it to save ourselves some money and stress. We could always get a mortgage protection insurance policy later. That wouldn't provide as much coverage as we have now, but at least the mortgage would be paid off if something happened to either of us.

All I know is that having to scrape to make the payment each month is driving me nuts. And I've got more than enough stress to deal with without that.

Windows 7 Is More Idiot-Proof Than I Thought

Yesterday I wrote about how upset I was because I lost all my photos when installing Windows 7 on my computer. Well, happy days are here again! I went poking around in the Windows.old folder that was created during installation, and lo and behold, there were all of my prized pictures! Yay!

There was also a lot of other stuff in there that I didn't even think about backing up, like my old contacts. Had I known that it would keep my data when switching over, I would have installed Windows 7 much sooner.

Speaking of Windows 7, so far I love it! It has been running quite smoothly, and I've noticed that it appears to use less memory than Vista did. Or maybe it's just the fact that it allows you to access more of the memory that's installed. Either way, it's nice. I never really had any trouble to speak of with Vista, but I got it after it had been out for a year or two, so I guess I missed most of the major bugs people were complaining about. But so far I haven't found any in 7.

If you're thinking about getting Windows 7, keep in mind that it's kind of like Vista on a weight loss diet. It doesn't come with Windows Movie Maker, or Microsoft Works, or a lot of other stuff that we're used to coming bundled with Windows releases. But you can download those things for free, so it's not like you're getting cheated. I kind of prefer it that way myself, because you don't end up with a bunch of programs that you won't use.

I plan on posting a more thorough review of Windows 7, probably on my other blog, as soon as I get a chance. If I do, I'll be sure to post a link here.

I Feel Stupid

I did something incredibly dumb over the weekend that's going to haunt me for a long, long time. I didn't get drunk and dance around with a lampshade on my head. It was much worse than that. I lost pretty much all of the photos I had on my computer.

When I got my new computer, I transferred my files over from the old one with a thumb drive. But somehow, I didn't get all of them. I was missing some of my MP3s and about two years' worth of photos. That nearly drove me crazy.

But then over the weekend I decided that it was time to install my brand spanking new copy of Windows 7, which I got through House Party. I'm having my party next weekend, so I up and decided to go ahead and get it on the computer so I could get accustomed to it in plenty of time. I put what I thought were all of my important files on two DVDs, and I did a fresh install because I wanted to use the 64-bit version (I was previously running 32-bit Vista).

All went well with the install, but when I went to transfer my photos from the DVD back to the computer, I realized that the "Kodak Pictures" folder wasn't located in the "Pictures" folder like I thought it was. So I lost almost all of my pictures that I hadn't already lost. I nearly cried.

One of these days, I'm going to break down and do an online backup of my files so I can't do anything stupid like that again. The only reason I haven't done it so far is because I'm overly paranoid about storing personal files on some other computer. But I guess I'm going to have to get over that. Unless they start making idiot-proof computers, that is.

Irritable

In my last post, I wrote about having writer's block. I've been wondering if it might be because I'm getting depressed again.

I've been on depression meds on three separate occasions, and believe I had it throughout my youth but wasn't diagnosed or treated. So it's not like I'm a stranger to it. I haven't been completely down all the time, but then I wasn't when the doctors put me on medication, either. I have, however, had many of the symptoms of atypical depression. And I've been really, really irritable lately.

For instance, someone said that something I wrote was absurd, and even though it wasn't anything of great importance, it rather ticked me off. I suppose you could say some of the things that go on inside my head are a bit off the wall, but that's just the way I think. I thought it would be okay to let my imagination run wild with the assignment in question, but apparently not.

And then there are the people who take it upon themselves to tell me that I need more kids. I've pretty well learned to just overlook them unless they push the issue too far, but lately even the mention of it seriously irks me. Just because I smile when I see moms pushing their little ones in baby strollers, that doesn't mean that I wish I were them. Jeez, you can think babies are cute without wanting one of your own, can't you?

Those are just a couple of examples. And maybe it's not unreasonable to get a little aggravated by these things. But I'm normally a pretty calm person, so it's a little unusual for me.

I should really talk to the doctor about all of this, but it would be rather pointless right now. I couldn't afford the medication if she gave me a prescription. So I'm thinking about giving herbs a try. If I do, I'll post how it goes.

Blocked

I've had more trouble getting any writing done in the past month than I've ever had. Last month I had lots of work lined up, and then I had to go and get the flu. That put me behind, but not so far behind that I couldn't have gotten caught up. Unfortunately, the stress of it all (and of knowing that Hubby's pay would be affected since he was out of work with the flu too) gave me a monster case of writer's block.

I finally got all caught up, and thought all would be well. But I'm still having trouble getting the words to flow. I find myself writing a paragraph, then reading back over it 4396508 times, or reading over the information I've found on the subject I'm writing about over and over, trying to figure out how to best put it into my own words but failing.

I've got to get my head on straight if I want to continue as a writer. And I do, more than anything. I wish there was some magic pill or meditation technique or something that would put me back on track. This is absolutely driving me nuts.

Rest in Peace, Uncle

I got a call from my mom this morning that I've been dreading for some time. She called to let me know that my uncle had passed away this morning.

It's not like I didn't see it coming. He has had cancer for probably a couple of years now. They weren't able to remove it, and treatments didn't help much. Mom had been going up to see him pretty often, and the last couple of times she came back worried that she wouldn't see him alive again.

She said she spoke to him on the phone yesterday, and that he sounded really tired. She told him she would let him go get some rest, but he said he didn't want to get off the phone. So she talked to him a while longer. I guess now she's glad that she did.

I never saw him much, but he was really a great person. I feel like we had a lot in common, because we both had the same laid-back attitude. And, like him, I'm usually rather quiet. I do wish I had gotten to see him more, but I'm also glad he's no longer suffering. He will certainly be missed.

Early to Rise

Pumpkin has been waking up early in the morning all week. It's usually around 4:00, two hours before Hubby and I get up. And every time, she comes knocking on our door, asking what to do because she can't sleep.

This morning she did it again, and we told her to go listen to music or read or something. She lay back down in bed and read, and she ended up going back to sleep. Unfortunately, I didn't. I lay there awake until the alarm went off. I would have gotten up if I knew I wouldn't be able to doze back off, but I didn't even consider it seeing how that's so unusual for me.

I kind of felt like I had taken one of those energy boosting weight loss pills or something. I thought maybe it was a sign that I would have plenty of energy today, but unfortunately that wasn't the case. I got up, fixed breakfast and got Pumpkin ready for school, and by the time she was out the door, I was ready for bed again. I lay back down and ended up sleeping longer than I had planned.

It would be really great to wake up one morning with boundless energy and keep it all day. But that hasn't happened for me in years. And I'm beginning to lose hope that it ever will again.

What's Up With My Teeth?

As a child, I never had a cavity. Not a single one. I went to the dentist regularly up until I had Pumpkin, and there were never any problems. The only procedure I had to have done before she was born was getting my wisdom teeth removed.

But once I became a mom, my dental health ended up on the back burner. I quit going to the dentist for checkups because I didn't have insurance. They say a lot of women start having trouble with their teeth after giving birth. And I know I did.

It could be worse. I had to have a back molar pulled a couple of years ago. They could have done a root canal, but again I didn't have insurance, and it wasn't a tooth that is visible unless I open my mouth really wide, so I just told them to get it out of there. Better a $100 dental bill than a $1,000 dental bill.

Since then, I've had a few cavities filled. I was supposed to go back to get more filled, but I haven't gotten around to it. I may do that soon, because I've been having some pain in various teeth.

I hope I don't end up having to get any more of them pulled. I hate the thought of having visibly missing teeth. I've even gone so far as to read up on dental implants on an Orange New Jersey cosmetic dentist's website, just in case the need ever arises.

I've been trying to take better care of my teeth so it doesn't come to that. I've even taken up flossing from time to time, which is something I never did when I was young. I rather enjoy my teeth, so I'd like to keep them around for a while.

This Is Ridiculous

This morning I was listening to the news on the radio, and I heard something that really ruffled my feathers. It is now against the law to haul trash without having it covered with a tarp. What???

In the county where I live, most people do not have trash pickup. So we have to take our own trash to either the landfill or a convenience center. That's not a big deal to me. I live a couple minutes' drive from the landfill, and there's a convenience center on the way to town. But I do take issue with having to put a tarp over the trash and tie the whole mess down. I know the purpose is to keep people from losing bags of trash, but I can accomplish that without going to all that trouble.

First off, I don't wait until I've got an overflowing truckload of trash to haul it off. Second, on the rare occasion that I have a bag that is light enough to possibly blow off, I either wedge it in the corner with heavier bags on top of it or put it inside the cab. And third, I drive at a sensible speed and keep an eye on the rearview mirror so I can see if there are any problems developing that could cause a bag to fly off.

There's not much way of getting around the whole thing, either. Not only can troopers pull you over for not covering your trash, the convenience center attendants can also write you a citation. Holy crap.

Maybe they needed to do something, because I know not everyone is as careful as I am. But I think requiring a tarp is a little much. And anyway, I'd rather see my tax dollars going toward something more worthwhile, like extending jobless benefits or helping mesothelioma patients, rather than going after people for not having a tarp over their trash. Just my opinion.

Oh yeah, here's another stupid thing about this whole ordeal. This Saturday, the landfill is having an event where they give everyone who puts a tarp over the trash they haul in... a free tarp. Where is the logic in that? If they have to do this, wouldn't it make more sense to write those who don't cover their trash a warning ticket and give them the free tarps? If you already have a tarp, why do you need another one?